oh.

malam itu, saya tak rasa macam nak makan. takde selera..

malam itu, saya rasa tak boleh nk tdo.

malam itu, ada kawan saya tanya ttbe,
"yan, there's this boy, he's sick and he knows he's about to die but he likes this girl. In his condition, do you think they should take it further?"
to which i answered truthfully. not giving my usual stupid answers.
"well, Tuhan itu maha berkuasa. Dia boleh buat apa2 Dia nk. The guy can't be too sure that he is gonna die first. God can even take the girl's life away before he takes the guy's. we never know. Semuanya di tangan Tuhan."

ttbe ayah turun. i didn't know how to react when ayah told me pak long meninggal. i was shocked. too shocked to even cry. i couldn't believe it. it seemed unreal to me. in a state of denial maybe?

even when i got there i couldn't bring myself to go in the house. i stayed outside for about an hour or so. finally i gathered all the courage i could and went inside the house. and sat down. and saw him. and cried. it was only when i saw him, that i believed and i accepted that he is gone. truly gone..

sebelum balik, mak long said to me, while hugging me tightly, "jangan lupa pak long k?"
it was heartbreaking hearing her say that. how could i forget pak long? don't worry, i know i won't.

my uncle, was a good man. great in fact. a happy person who loves to laugh. the day before he went, ada a small gathering to which i didn't attend. had to go to work. ikut cakap farah, masa dekat kampung pandan(my stepgrandmother's house tempat gathering diadakan hari sebelum itu) dia happy macam biasa, siap boleh gelak-gelak and main dengan rabbit. ohh sedihnya tak dapat jumpa dia sebelum tu. i'm gonna miss him. i am missing him. takziah especially to mak long, abg saddiq, kak wani and izzat.

Al-Fatihah.